In a world that increasingly encourages us to prioritize self-care and cut off "toxic" relationships, it’s easy to see why advice like “Stop calling people who don’t call you” or “Stop making time for people who don’t have time for you” resonates with many. On the surface, it feels empowering—like taking back control. But what if, instead of empowering, this mindset actually leans toward selfishness and risks undermining the beauty of unconditional love, empathy, and community?
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆: 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗲𝘀
Before we rush to cut people out of our lives for not calling back, not visiting, or not reciprocating our efforts, it’s worth pausing to consider a crucial truth: we rarely know the full story of someone else’s life.
It’s easy to feel neglected or unimportant when someone doesn’t return your energy, but what if their silence isn’t about you? What if it’s about them—what they’re going through, what they’re carrying, or what they’re too afraid to share?
Maybe they’re working double shifts just to make ends meet. Maybe they’re taking care of a sick parent or child and are too emotionally and physically drained to pick up the phone. Maybe they’re struggling with their mental health—anxiety, depression, or burnout—that makes the smallest interactions feel overwhelming.
Or maybe they’re simply surviving.
The truth is, people often don’t talk about what they’re going through, and the silence can easily be misinterpreted as apathy or disinterest. In reality, it might be anything but.
Relationships aren’t always perfectly balanced. Some seasons of life require one person to carry more of the emotional load. If you’re in a position to give more—whether it’s a call, a text, or a visit—it doesn’t mean you’re being taken advantage of. It might mean you’re showing up for someone in a way they desperately need but can’t articulate.
Imagine how you’d feel in a tough season if the people you love gave up on you because you couldn’t show up for them in the same way. Wouldn’t you hope they’d understand and stick around until you could?
Extending grace doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be drained or treated poorly. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and holding space for the possibility that their silence has nothing to do with how much they value you.
What if, instead of assuming neglect, we assumed struggle? What if, instead of waiting for someone to “prove” they care, we showed them we do—without conditions or expectations?
Grace isn’t always easy, but it’s a gift that has the power to heal relationships and deepen connections.
If you’re feeling hurt by someone’s lack of effort, don’t jump to conclusions. Open the door for a conversation. Sometimes, a simple “Hey, I’ve missed you—how are things going?” can reveal so much more than you’d expect.
They might admit they’re struggling. They might apologize for being distant. Or they might just need to hear that you care.
Communication can bridge gaps that assumptions only widen.
Balance, Not Burnout. Of course, there’s a limit. If you’ve reached out time and again and consistently met with indifference or disregard, it’s fair to reevaluate the relationship. But remember: not every unreturned call or unanswered text is a sign of rejection. Sometimes, it’s a cry for help, even if it doesn’t look like one.
Before you decide to stop calling, stop visiting, or stop caring, ask yourself: What if they’re going through something I don’t know about?
Because the truth is, life is hard for all of us. And sometimes, the love and care you give—without expectation—can be the very thing someone needs to get through their hardest days.
So keep calling. Keep showing up. Keep giving grace. Not because you’re waiting for something in return, but because kindness and understanding are the glue that holds relationships—and humanity—together.
Larae Maraney - The Spellbound Witchery